The first time I hurt myself on purpose I remember I was in 6th grade. I was having trouble with other kids and just started scratching the back of my hand till it bled. It wasn't an all the time thing no one ever noticed what I was doing.
By the time I hit freshman year in high school I was cutting my wrists or upper arms and trying to hide it from everyone. It was at a point where I was wearing wrist braces telling people I had carpul tunnel. That worked for that year.
Sophomore year someone noticed my wrists and told a teacher. I was then sent to counciling where I was not about to talk at all. I didn't trust people to keep their word on not talking about me. That lasted a year.
The last 2 years of high school were hard i didn't like a lot of people and really hated all my teachers a few of them didn't think I would make anything of myself and told that to my face. I figured might as well prove them right.
I graduated high school and by that time had been self injuring for 7 years before things really hit the shit fan.
In the fall of 2000 I went away to college I didn't want to go but went to make my parents happy. After just a few weeks into the first semester I hit bottom and tried to kill myself. I cut my wrists pretty bad and ended up in the hospital.
I spent a week in a psych ward out of state I mostly stayed in my room and just shut down the only thing I would eat was plain crackers. That is where I met Will Denis he got me out of shell. He had his own issues but wanted so much to help me. He cow,d read me like a book knew from the first time he saw me that I did not like people touching me. One day he wrote me a letter that before I left he wanted a hug. We were so much alike I could also read him. I was able to keep him calm when he was going to explode he let me sit in silence when i didn't want to talk. The day I found out I was being transferred closer to home was the same day I was to leave. I gave him a huge hug something I have not done since.
I spent another 5 weeks at the hospital closer to home. During that time my mothers father died of a heart attack. I will get into that more later. I would call Will a few times a week some days he wouldn't be able to come to the phone as he had lost control and ended up in solitary. He had been my rock threw some hard times. 10 years later I still think of him. Wonder what happened to him. We talked till about Xmas that year then I lost touch with him.
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